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Present-iche (Past-iche Part Deux)

April 16, 2007

This one is still a little stubby, because I’m having trouble thinking of present writers that are well-known enough to be recognizable by both of my readers. Still, enjoy,

The Onion

Area Muffin Slightly Overcooked

Area blueberry muffin came back having been slightly overcooked, sources reported last Tuesday. Onlookers said the renegade muffin defied both its cookers and logic when it became slightly blackened before the “muffin” setting on the toaster had finished it’s cooking. Said witness Evan Roberts, “There must have been some foul play involved – a muffin just doesn’t overcook out of the blue.” After a pause, he continued, “berry.” Investigators have yet to determine the cause of the overcooking and are anxiously pursuing leads.

The Atkins Muffin

Ingredients: 1 cup cubed steak, 1 muffin, ½ cup mixed vegetables, 1 cup olive oil

  1. Cook steak
  2. Eat steak.
  3. Throw out everything else.

Facebook

The facebook muffin changed their status to blueberry

The facebook muffin added “being eaten out” to their favorite activities

Kelly Marshall is attending Tanning Party!

The facebook muffin is overcooked

The facebook muffin is now listed as single

The facebook muffin is “weeping with quiet despair at the idea that they are no longer desirable.”

New York Times

Liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin, liberal hippy nonsense burnt muffin. –AP

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