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How Great is Steak and Blowjob Day????????????

March 15, 2007

As you may or may not know, yesterday was a little constructed holiday called Steak and Blowjob day. It’s not really less fabricated than Valentine’s day, and only slightly more simple-minded, but this one is for the men. And you know what?

Fuck that.

I’m serious. While this might be an understandably minority viewpoint, the entire idea of Steak and Blowjob day pisses me off. First and foremost, I’d like to think I’m slightly more complicated than a Bud Light commercial. The holiday is lazy and generic, and homogeonizes male desire into two physiological and frankly kind of boring impulses. The subtle implication is that their is nothing in the world more desireable to a guy than those two things, and if those two things aren’t at the top of your to-do list at all times, you’re somehow less masculine. The fact that it was intentionally set up as a counterpoint to Valentine’s Day (a holiday which I’m not fond of either), suggests that the male equivalent of “love” and emotional bonding is a side of beef and some fellatio. I’m just about tired of the idea that women are completely emotional creatures that want love and affection while men are concerned primarily –nay, exclusively, with food and sexual gratification.

Beyond that, the idea for the holiday is intensely limiting. While Valentine’s Day is trite and commercial, at least it allows for some room to acknowledge the person with whom who might choose to share it. A couple might easily decide to spend Valentine’s day heckling old footage of the Special Olympics as paddling down the French Riviera in a boat made of puppies, and be romantic. Not so for Cow-n-Chow day. I understand that it’s supposed to be simple, as somewhat of a response to the vagueries of VD, but it should also specifically enjoyable, because otherwise, what’s the point? How about a different holiday, like Keep it Simple Day, where everybody just keeps things simple, and you give your boyfriend or whatever what he might like, not out of ulterior motive, but because you know him and want to make him happy.

Besides, there’s no reason that A1 and Hot Sauce day is a special premise. By putting these things on a pedestal, you imply that they are or should be somehow a difficult thing to attain, rather than a relative occurrence (if that’s what you want). In addition to being mildly offensive, it’s also just stupid, and plays into cultural stereotypes that are as ridiculous as they are banal.

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One comment

  1. do you think anybody takes steak and blowjob day seriously? i feel like male dissent would be interested in it, if male dissent existed this semester.



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